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June 15, 1997 - Fathers Day
Dear Dad,
Happy Fathers Day. I thought I should tell you some things that
other people know but I may not have ever told you. First of all
you are my hero. You have always been my hero since I was a
little boy. I'm sorry if I don't always treat you with the respect that
a hero should have (not to mention a Dad!). I'm going to work on
that real hard in the future.
Secondly I am very grateful for all the opportunities you have given
me over the years, and the financial help, etc. Again I haven't always
acted like this was the case and it probably has something to do with
pride or ego. I am working on this, too, and I'm sorry I haven't
been more forthcoming with thanks in the past. I think a part of it
has to do with the tremendous self-esteem you imparted to your kids.
We just can't seem to take "No" for an answer sometimes and think
we always deserve the best. But sometimes I think I am too blind to
see that "the best" is right under my nose and not on "the other side
of the fence".
For the last couple of months I have been reading about the lives of
Saints and from the Bible to my boys every night. I thought it would
be good for them, but it has also really opened my eyes, melted my
heart, and changed my attitudes about my life and how you fit into it.
I hope you don't mind if I quote a few things here to try to convey a
sense of my new attitudes that I hope to be bringing to work and my
life. I'm not saying that I'm perfect or saintly or anything, but that in
the future I am going to be trying a lot harder to be more accepting
and less demanding.
.......whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31
One cannot justify unjust anger, anger plunges a man to his downfall.
Sirach 1:19
Honor your Father and your Mother, that you may have a long life.......
Exodus 20:12
.......he who acts hastily, blunders........the foolish son is ruin to his
father......Chastise your son, for in this there is hope.......if you rebuke
an intelligent man, he gains knowledge.......He who mistreats his Father..
..is a worthless and disgraceful son.
Proverbs 19:2,13, 18, 25, 26
Better is an open rebuke than a love that remains hidden.
Proverbs 27:5
"It is not enough for obedience to do what is commanded. It must be
done without debate, and must be looked upon as the best and most
perfect thing possible, though it may seem and may even be the contrary.
- St. Philip Neri
If you are ever conscious of impulses, thoughts, and judgements opposed
to obedience, though apparently good and holy, do not admit them on any
account, but reject them promptly, as you would thoughts against chastity
or faith.
- St. John Climacus
Humility is the mother of many virtues. From it spring obedience, holy
fear, reverence, patience, modesty, mildness, and peace; for, whoever
is humble easily obeys all, fears to offend any, maintains peace with all,
shows himself affable to all, is submissive to all, does not offend or
displease any, and does not feel the insults which may be inflicted upon
him. He lives happy and contented, and in great peace.
- St Thomas of Villanova
"Resist your impatience...practicing, not only with reason, but even against
reason, holy courtesy and sweetness to all, but especially to those who
weary you the most".
- St. Francis de Sales
A truly obedient man does not discriminate between one thing and another,
or desire one employment more than another, since his only aim is to
execute faithfully whatever may be assigned to him.
- St. Bernard
A little drop of simple obedience is worth a million times more than a whole
vase full of the choicest contemplations.
- St. Mary Magdalen de' Pazzi
Obedience is, without a doubt, more meritorious than any austerity. And
what greater austerity can be thought of than that of keeping one's will
constantly submissive and obedient?
- St. Catherine of Bologna
To pick up a straw from the ground through obedience is more meritorious
than to preach, to fast, to use the discipline to blood, and to make long
prayers, of one's own will.
- St. Alphonsus Rodriguez
One great way of preserving a constant peace and tranquility of heart is to
receive all things as coming from the hands of God, whatever they may be,
and in whatever way they may come.
- St. Dorotheus
Beware of becoming vexed or impatient at the faults of others; for it
would be folly when you see a man falling into a ditch, to throw yourself
into another to no purpose.
- St. Bonaventure
When you have to make arrangements, settle quarrels, or win others to your
views, take care to be as mild as possible. You will accomplish more, and
conquer more readily, by yielding and humbling yourself, than by harshness
and disputation. Who does not know that more flies are caught with an
ounce of honey than with a hundred barrels of vinegar?
- St Francis de Sales
In this life there is no Purgatory, but either Paradise or Hell. He who bears
tribulations with patience, has Paradise; he who does not, Hell.
- St. Philip Neri
One "Thanks be to God", or one "Blessed be God", in adversity, is worth
more than a thousand thanksgivings in prosperity.
- Father M. d' Avila
The greatest gift one can receive from God in this world is wisdom, power,
and will to conquer himself, by denying self-will.
- St. Francis of Assisi
One day of humble self-knowledge is a greater grace from the Lord, although
it may have cost us many afflictions and trials, than many days of prayer.
- St Teresa
I have turned forward and backward and on every side, and what conclusion
have I reached? I have considered all methods of governing, and even tried
them, and I have finally seen that the best is that which is amiable, sincere,
humble, and patient.
- St. Jane Frances de Chantal
The greatest fault among those who have a good will is that they wish to be
something that they cannot be. They conceive desires to do great things for
which, perhaps, no opportunity may ever come to them, and meantime
neglect the small which the Lord puts into their hands. There are a thousand
little acts of virtue, such as bearing with the importunities and imperfections
of our neighbors, not resenting an unpleasant word or a trifling injury,
restraining an emotion of anger, mortifying some little affection, some ill-
regulated desire to speak or to listen, excusing an indiscretion, or yielding
to another in trifles. These are things to be done by all; why not practice
them? The occasions for great pains come rarely, but of little gains many can
be made each day; and by managing these little gains with judgement, there are
some who grow rich. Oh, how holy nd rich in merits we should make ourselves,
if we but knew how to profit by the opportunities which our vocation supplies
us with.
- St. Francis de Sales
Well, Dad, I could keep going here, but I think you can get the idea by now
of where I hope to be going in the future with my attitude. Please don't
hesitate to let me know if I am ever out of line in the days to come. Like it
says in Proverbs "A wise son makes his father glad.....but he who hates
reproof is stupid". I would like to think I am not stupid, and getting wiser
every day, with your guidance and help.
Your loving son,
Kurt
Please feel free to leave Kurt a message at:
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