June 15, 1997 - Fathers Day Dear Dad, Happy Fathers Day. I thought I should tell you some things that other people know but I may not have ever told you. First of all you are my hero. You have always been my hero since I was a little boy. I'm sorry if I don't always treat you with the respect that a hero should have (not to mention a Dad!). I'm going to work on that real hard in the future. Secondly I am very grateful for all the opportunities you have given me over the years, and the financial help, etc. Again I haven't always acted like this was the case and it probably has something to do with pride or ego. I am working on this, too, and I'm sorry I haven't been more forthcoming with thanks in the past. I think a part of it has to do with the tremendous self-esteem you imparted to your kids. We just can't seem to take "No" for an answer sometimes and think we always deserve the best. But sometimes I think I am too blind to see that "the best" is right under my nose and not on "the other side of the fence". For the last couple of months I have been reading about the lives of Saints and from the Bible to my boys every night. I thought it would be good for them, but it has also really opened my eyes, melted my heart, and changed my attitudes about my life and how you fit into it. I hope you don't mind if I quote a few things here to try to convey a sense of my new attitudes that I hope to be bringing to work and my life. I'm not saying that I'm perfect or saintly or anything, but that in the future I am going to be trying a lot harder to be more accepting and less demanding. .......whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31 One cannot justify unjust anger, anger plunges a man to his downfall. Sirach 1:19 Honor your Father and your Mother, that you may have a long life....... Exodus 20:12 .......he who acts hastily, blunders........the foolish son is ruin to his father......Chastise your son, for in this there is hope.......if you rebuke an intelligent man, he gains knowledge.......He who mistreats his Father.. ..is a worthless and disgraceful son. Proverbs 19:2,13, 18, 25, 26 Better is an open rebuke than a love that remains hidden. Proverbs 27:5 "It is not enough for obedience to do what is commanded. It must be done without debate, and must be looked upon as the best and most perfect thing possible, though it may seem and may even be the contrary. - St. Philip Neri If you are ever conscious of impulses, thoughts, and judgements opposed to obedience, though apparently good and holy, do not admit them on any account, but reject them promptly, as you would thoughts against chastity or faith. - St. John Climacus Humility is the mother of many virtues. From it spring obedience, holy fear, reverence, patience, modesty, mildness, and peace; for, whoever is humble easily obeys all, fears to offend any, maintains peace with all, shows himself affable to all, is submissive to all, does not offend or displease any, and does not feel the insults which may be inflicted upon him. He lives happy and contented, and in great peace. - St Thomas of Villanova "Resist your impatience...practicing, not only with reason, but even against reason, holy courtesy and sweetness to all, but especially to those who weary you the most". - St. Francis de Sales A truly obedient man does not discriminate between one thing and another, or desire one employment more than another, since his only aim is to execute faithfully whatever may be assigned to him. - St. Bernard A little drop of simple obedience is worth a million times more than a whole vase full of the choicest contemplations. - St. Mary Magdalen de' Pazzi Obedience is, without a doubt, more meritorious than any austerity. And what greater austerity can be thought of than that of keeping one's will constantly submissive and obedient? - St. Catherine of Bologna To pick up a straw from the ground through obedience is more meritorious than to preach, to fast, to use the discipline to blood, and to make long prayers, of one's own will. - St. Alphonsus Rodriguez One great way of preserving a constant peace and tranquility of heart is to receive all things as coming from the hands of God, whatever they may be, and in whatever way they may come. - St. Dorotheus Beware of becoming vexed or impatient at the faults of others; for it would be folly when you see a man falling into a ditch, to throw yourself into another to no purpose. - St. Bonaventure When you have to make arrangements, settle quarrels, or win others to your views, take care to be as mild as possible. You will accomplish more, and conquer more readily, by yielding and humbling yourself, than by harshness and disputation. Who does not know that more flies are caught with an ounce of honey than with a hundred barrels of vinegar? - St Francis de Sales In this life there is no Purgatory, but either Paradise or Hell. He who bears tribulations with patience, has Paradise; he who does not, Hell. - St. Philip Neri One "Thanks be to God", or one "Blessed be God", in adversity, is worth more than a thousand thanksgivings in prosperity. - Father M. d' Avila The greatest gift one can receive from God in this world is wisdom, power, and will to conquer himself, by denying self-will. - St. Francis of Assisi One day of humble self-knowledge is a greater grace from the Lord, although it may have cost us many afflictions and trials, than many days of prayer. - St Teresa I have turned forward and backward and on every side, and what conclusion have I reached? I have considered all methods of governing, and even tried them, and I have finally seen that the best is that which is amiable, sincere, humble, and patient. - St. Jane Frances de Chantal The greatest fault among those who have a good will is that they wish to be something that they cannot be. They conceive desires to do great things for which, perhaps, no opportunity may ever come to them, and meantime neglect the small which the Lord puts into their hands. There are a thousand little acts of virtue, such as bearing with the importunities and imperfections of our neighbors, not resenting an unpleasant word or a trifling injury, restraining an emotion of anger, mortifying some little affection, some ill- regulated desire to speak or to listen, excusing an indiscretion, or yielding to another in trifles. These are things to be done by all; why not practice them? The occasions for great pains come rarely, but of little gains many can be made each day; and by managing these little gains with judgement, there are some who grow rich. Oh, how holy nd rich in merits we should make ourselves, if we but knew how to profit by the opportunities which our vocation supplies us with. - St. Francis de Sales Well, Dad, I could keep going here, but I think you can get the idea by now of where I hope to be going in the future with my attitude. Please don't hesitate to let me know if I am ever out of line in the days to come. Like it says in Proverbs "A wise son makes his father glad.....but he who hates reproof is stupid". I would like to think I am not stupid, and getting wiser every day, with your guidance and help. Your loving son, Kurt
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